Does it make sense to take your children to Paris? In their teenage years, communication is a barrierโ€”never mind the languageโ€”and keeping everyone happy can be a challenge.

On day two of our recent trip for example, after his breakfast of waffles and chocolate croissants, my son Owen asked about our plan for the day.

Our plan?

Really?

I told him his Mom and I were going to lunch at Joel Robuchonโ€™s, and he and his sister would be going to Cafรฉ Bonaparte with Nanna and Grandpa.

โ€œLetโ€™s rent scooters,โ€ he suggested.

I looked up and shook my head no.

โ€œDad,โ€ he said, in a flat, exasperated โ€œI knew you would say noโ€ voice.

โ€œTheyโ€™re dangerous,โ€ I said, predictably.

โ€œTheyโ€™re everywhere,โ€ he said, as if I couldnโ€™t see.

โ€œWe didnโ€™t come to Paris to ride scooters,โ€ I said.

Of all my visits to Paris, I donโ€™t recall anything more jarring than these controversial batteries-on-two-wheels. Theyโ€™re part of the Paris experience today: Rentable with an app for however long you want to ride, or until they run out of juice.

If you havenโ€™t seen them in your city, beware, theyโ€™re coming.

And their battery-operated silence makes them stealthy. Imagine a kid trying to scare you from behind and you know what it feels like to be passed by a scooter: Swoosh! And their Tesla-like acceleration comes at you quick. Head-on they put you off-balance, guessing which way theyโ€™re going to go.

To me, theyโ€™re utterly non-Parisian. A cultural misfit. And Iโ€™ll be surprised if theyโ€™re still allowed a year from now. I would never use one.

After lunch, standing in front of Joelโ€™s, Becky and I grabbed an Uber. Minutes into the trip, she sent a text, put down her phone and said:

โ€œYou and Owen should rent scooters.โ€

โ€œWait. Wait a minute!โ€ I thought to myself. โ€œWho are you?โ€

โ€œJust be careful and stay off the road,โ€ she said.

โ€œIโ€™m going to meet my mom and Izzy to go shopping.โ€

Dismissed and alone, I slowly Ubered back to Le Bristol.

I hesitantly texted Owen from the lobby: โ€œscooter?โ€

Owenโ€™s response within seconds: โ€œyesโ€

(Note to self: remember quick response time the next time I ask him to get off Fortnite)

Me: โ€œmeet in lobbyโ€

After locating two scooters and downloading Lime and Bird apps we hit the streets, er, sidewalks like bats out of, well, I must admit I was a little shaky from the post-lunch, champagne haze. But after I got the hang of it, it was on:

We zipped along Quai des Tuileries to the Louvre, went underground through a couple of bike-only tunnels, skimmed along Voie Georges Pompidou parallel with the Seine, over Pont Louis Philippe to Ile Saint-Louis to take pictures of Notre-Dame, and then back covering some serious and sometimes cobblestoned ground that would take hours by footโ€”and maybe never happen if we were.

 

And, so, the next day, Saturday, when the streets were closed because of the yellow-vest protests, Saint Honore became one big driveway for one happy scootering teenager. โ€œAs for me?โ€ you might ask. โ€œScootering again?โ€

I wouldnโ€™t say never.

Originally posted on Your Survival Guy.ย